In a controversial move, Call of Duty publishers Activision have announced that the next game in the popular first-person shooter franchise will be exclusive to the LeapPad Ultra tablet.
After only making one billions dollars on day one with Call of Duty: Ghosts Activision felt it was time for a change. “With that minuscule amount of sales, it’s just not feasible for us to keep making games of this caliber every year using the PS4 and Xbox One hardware.” they told us, “We struggled for a while about what platform we should bring the series to next but after I saw my nine-year-old nephew put down Ghosts for a minute and pick up his LeapPad to play a round of Team UmiZoomi: Street Fair Fix-Up, I knew it was the perfect platform for our game.”
Financials weren’t the only reason developers are excited to work on the new platform. Boasting an impressive 8GB of internal storage and an 800MHz ARM processor, Call of Duty will be running at resolutions not even thought possible with a game such as this. As one anonymous developer put it “We never thought we’d be able to going back to making games without detailed textures, particle effects or ambient lighting again. It’s as if a whole new world is open to us!”
Since the announcement, some parents have raised concerns about the age demographic of Call of Duty compared to the LeapPad Ultra. Namely the fact that LeadPad is suggested for ages five to eight, while Call of Duty usually sees players between the ages of nine to fourteen. “I would rather not have some snot-nosed twelve year old online calling my little angel a cum guzzling shit for brains. At least not until she’s passed the sixth grade and can mentally handle it,” said one concerned mother.
No comments:
Post a Comment