Facebook confirmed this morning that they have completed the acquisition of the recently deactivated Diablo III auction house from Blizzard Entertainment. With the purchase, Facebook claims to now have a foothold in the “fans of stupid fucking ideas” market, which they hope to use to leverage their social network in more places than ever. The purchase itself went down rather quickly with Facebook starting the offer straight at the ending price of $3.2 billion. Blizzard quickly scrambled to find a way to give it away so they would never have to acknowledge it again, something they have been trying to do ever since Diablo III released two years ago.
“Look, that thing was a stupid fucking idea from the beginning,” said one anonymous Blizzard engineer, “we never thought anyone would actually buy it from us so we destroyed everything we could that mentioned that abomination the second it was deactivated. Luckily we were able to find some snippets of code and a screenshot of the auction house when it was in beta to give Facebook before they decided against the offer.” The screenshot and code were delivered by a caravan of smiling Blizzard executives just hours after the deal was finalized.
How the social media giant actually plans to use the defunct auction house has yet to be determined, but the general feeling from industry experts is that the deal is a positive one for Facebook. “The fans of stupid fucking ideas market is a growing one,” said veteran social media analyst Chad Ridgewood, “Fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, everyone has stupid fucking ideas and like to hear other people’s stupid fucking ideas. With this purchase, Facebook is front and center in those people’s minds.”
In his Facebook post announcing the purchase, Mark Zuckerburg assured investors that the move is nothing but good for the company, stating “there are endless stupid fucking ideas floating around, and it is time we get into the business of marketing to fans of them. With our in-house stupid fucking idea of giving people the ability send birthday presents to their friends through Facebook and this retarded auction house, we are very close to having the market cornered.”
Rumors are also swirling that Facebook is not done buying. They have allegedly had their eyes on several other stupid fucking ideas including Netflix’s long dead Flickster spin-off, the PlayStation Move, and the rights to the name “Wii U,” among others.
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