Google's New "Games For Glass" Are So Realistic That Players Can Actually Feel Themselves Getting Punched In The Face

Moments after a game of Yell Those Words!

Project Glass, Google’s still-in-beta entrance into wearable technology, recently received a series of games meant to improve user experience with the product as well as give Glass Explorers something else to do besides take awkwardly framed pictures of food. The games, according to Google, are so realistic that players can expect to actually feel like they have been punched in the face while they’re playing them in a public place.
The most popular game, titled Yell Those Words!, is a simple game in which players just scream out random phrases such as “Hey fatty!”, “Your mother!”, and “I dare you to hit me” among others. If the player misses a phrase or yells it incorrectly, it will appear on their Glass HUD that someone is hitting them, even using the devices bone-conducting headphones to simulating the feeling of being slugged in the face. “I could have sworn I yelled the phrase 'Sure, his methods were extreme but can we honestly say Hitler was wrong?' correctly when I was playing at Whole Foods yesterday,” one Explorer told us, “but for some reason the game made it look like the guy waiting in line in front of me turned around and hit me. It was so realistic. Not only did the graphics look completely real but the screen even got embedded in my eye and there’s a decent chance I may never see out of it again. This game is incredible!”

While the feature is not actually advertised outside of Yell Those Words!, the ability to get hit in the face comes as an Easter egg in other games such as Take Pictures Of That Girl When You Don’t Think She Can See You and another game in which you tell everyone Glass has an x-ray camera called Xrayr. If you win, participate or even look like you’re playing either of those games, the visual of a very realistic passerby will appear to punch you square in your cyborg eyeball, which may or may not result in a required Glass and/or retina replacement. Something Google says is pure coincidence and you must have tripped or something. 

The World, another game released yesterday, is a game in which the screen appears to turn off entirely and is replaced with a live feed from the Glass camera, creating a realistic image of what the player would be seeing if they were not wearing the device. Many of the players using it claimed to be amazed at how much they could see now that their view was not obstructed by flashing screens and twitter updates, but still said they would never probably never play it because it made their lives too boring and made them feel poor.

As of this publication, Google has not fully addressed the issue that some players are ending up physically injured as a result of the games. The official Google response has been to try and play in private. For some reason still unknown the physical harm doesn't happen when users are in their own private homes, only in public around other people. 

We've been assured that if there are more updates we will be informed after we complete a series of mind-bending puzzles and "finally exit beta status" as one Google representative put it.