Wal-Mart Will Soon Let You Sell Their Stolen Games Back To Them

Tired of thieves stealing games on release day and selling them to GameStop hours later, Wal-Mart recently announced they will be implementing a trade-in service on March 26th. The announcement came just hours after a slew of copies of Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes began getting appearing in GameStop stores, most of them still with the Wal-Mart stickers still attached.
According to CEO Douglas McMillan, Wal-Mart will even offer special prices on games that were stolen that same day. “We’re just tired of having them all stolen out of the delivery trailer or from the room that is supposed to be locked but the lazy ass electronics employee never locks,” said the CEO, “with this new program we can ensure that it’s Wal-Mart selling it’s own product, even if we pay that extra $10 to get it back every time.”

The old process of stealing a new game from a Wal-Mart store and trekking all the way to a place to sell it could be a tiring one, sometimes even taking up to 20 minutes to reach the nearest GameStop all while carrying 20-30 copies of a brand new game. But with the new process, aspiring criminals can simply purchase their weapon of choice in the hunting department, hold a delivery driver at gunpoint, steal the games, and walk right back into the store and sell them for a few bucks a pop - all while never leaving the Wal-Mart premises. A process Wal-Mart ensures investors will generate billions of dollars of revenue over the next five years.

GameStop itself stands to lose quite a bit of money with the changes, and may even be forced to sell their own games on release day. Up to this point they had more than enough stolen Wal-Mart games to stock their shelves for months every time a triple-A game came out, but that’s all changing with the new policy.

Not all of GameStop is against the move, though. “It’s about time,” one anonymous employee told us, “do you think I’m proud of paying some meth addict $5 for a game that came out yesterday so he can go get high? Of course not. I’d rather they just stay at Wal-Mart where it’s safe for people like them. And besides, they never buy protection plans or accessories. So fuck them.”