Well-Meaning Grandparents Accidentally Purchase 16-inch Power Chainsaw Instead of Dark Souls 2

Loving grandparents Bruce and Delores Smith had every intention of buying their fifteen-year-old grandson a killing machine capable of causing pain and ruining families, but instead what they purchased was a 16-inch power chainsaw. After waiting up all night for his grandparents to return with what he thought would be Dark Souls 2, young Bryson Smith claims to not be angry, just disappointed in his elder’s attempts to purchase the newly released sequel to his favorite game.

Following what felt like an eternity to the elderly couple standing outside the local Home Depot until sunrise, Bruce began to feel like something was wrong, “We could have sworn Bryson told us this Best Buy opened at midnight for this Dark Coleslaw game of his,” he told us, “but we just waited and waited until the sun came up and this nice young gentlemen let us in the store.” From there, the elderly couple wandered around the bathroom section for an hour or so until they finally found an associate not heading to their break to assist them. “We told another nice lady that our grandson wanted Dark Saw 2, or something. Something to do with saws, we couldn’t remember. But being the spry young lady she was, she knew exactly what we were looking for and took us to the shiny new chainsaw that Dyson wanted.” Bruce and Delores quickly rushed home to give the present to their grandson, excited to see his face light up when he finally received the chainsaw he’s always wanted.

“I mean, I guess I could cut some trees or something,” Bryson told us, “but I was really looking forward to playing Dark Souls 2 and talking about it with my friends at school.” He also hasn’t had the heart to inform his grandparents about the mixup, telling us “They tried, I can’t blame them. At least they didn’t accidentally buy me a Wii U or some other useless thing.”

No need to worry about the ninth grader’s future though, Bryson’s parents assure us he plans to use the chainsaw purely for good and, according to his mother “knew Delores and Bruce would screw it up somehow so we bought it at midnight. We’ll give it to him when his grandparents leave at 3:30 to go eat dinner.”