Bethesda Claims Fallout 4 Basically Complete, Won't Release Until They Can Work A Few More Bugs Into It

In their first official statement about the highly anticipated sequel to Fallout 3, Bethesda Game Studios claims that Fallout 4 is “basically complete” and they are just working in a few more bugs and game-breaking glitches before launch. Throughout their press release regarding the game, the Maryland-based developer detailed the multitude of fun glitches and numerous ways your game can completely crash and undo all that hard work you did getting new armor.

The original plan for Fallout 4, as laid out in Bethesda’s statement, was to have the game come out in early May in 2014 but when testers got their hands on the game and really worked through it last winter, some major problems were discovered. 

“I played the whole game and honestly it felt really complete and fun,” Fallout 4 closed-alpha tester Benjamin Wood told us, “but once I finished the game and didn’t glitch through a floor or have my whole game erased for no fucking reason I knew something was wrong. It just didn’t feel like a Bethesda  game.”

Wood wasn’t alone in his feelings about the game. Several other testers we spoke to had the same sentiments. Some reported that, no matter how hard they tried, they could not find a way to infinitely duplicate random games they found in game. “That’s just not right. If I can’t spawn an infinite amount of Stimpaks then what’s the point? Do you expect me to actually find all these things on my own?”

The other most common issue users reported was the lack of any way to be permanently stuck inside the head of the character, with several developers who played through the game telling us it just didn’t feel right not having the camera suddenly snap behind their characters eyeballs and remain there permanently until the game inevitably crashed or they had to reset it manually once it froze.

Thankfully Bethesda took the advice of their testers and quickly delayed the game to late 2014 until these bugs can be fixed. Among the bug implementations that have been promised is the ability to be awkwardly stuck in those too-close-for-comfort dialogue segments, random clipping into the ground that you can’t avoid until you eventually fall through into a developer room that corrupts your game data and, in a Bethesda first, causing your console of choice be lit a flame if you accidentally talk to a glitched NPC.

“We want Fallout 4 to feel new and fresh,” Bethesda said in their statement, “To achieve this we had to look at glitches outside of our comfort zone. That means entering the real world and fucking with your life instead of just your game. We’re very proud of our bug that will leak your Facebook password and bank credentials should you enter the Supermarket while holding a Shotgun. This type of incompetence hasn’t been seen before and we think you’re really going to enjoy it.”

Also announced was a glitch that will automatically open a web browser to Amazon.com in the background and place an overnight order for an OUYA console without ever informing the player. As Bethesda project manager Stan Rodgers told us, “Hopefully after their mental breakdown upon realizing they are now an OUYA owner they’ll understand that their life could be much worse than a few glitches on a new Fallout game.”