A slew of new characters for the upcoming Smash Bros 3DS/Wii U were revealed during a live Nintendo Direct early Monday morning. The comprehensive list of 34,495 characters, internally named “Every Video Game Character That Matters,” contains popular mascots from Sony, Microsoft, SEGA, Capcom, Blizzard, and many others including Nintendo’s own that were not yet in Super Smash Bros, except Waluigi.
“This took months of negotiating and nearly quadrupled the budget of the games,” Super Smash Bros director Masahiro Sakurai said proudly while standing in front of a display showing all the characters in the upcoming games, lacking a certain purple- and mustache-sporting golfer/tennis player/kart racer, “But in the end it was worth it. Anything to get across the point that we hate that sack of shit Waluigi.”
Sakurai also explained that, yes, they have received your letters asking for Waluigi to be in Smash Bros since the original was released fifteen years ago and, yes, they ended up in the trash can next to your Waluigi fan art and fan fiction ships of him and Wario. “It’s disgusting and you’re disgusting,” Sakurai said before showing a clip of Captain Falcon kicking PlayStation’s Tomba in the the knee and sending the pick-haired boy flying off the stage.
Announced alongside the new fighters was a special game mode giving players the option of using every single character at once. As it was detailed during the Nintendo Direct, it is hoped that gamers will take the opportunity to “play as every character they can besides Waluigi. Get the real of experience of a world where that poor excuse for a video game character was never created.”
Like the previous entry in the series, all thirty five thousand characters will need to be unlocked by completing a 459-hour Subspace Emissary story mode.
“Sure, it’ll take a lot of time,” Sakurai says, “But it’ll be worth it to finally unlock every character in existence except Waluigi. Imagine how satisfying it will be to fight against Peach as HK-47 from Knights of the Old Republic or Cortez from TimeSplitters all the while pretending that purple lanky-ass dickhead doesn’t exist.”
At press time it was revealed that every single Marine ever spawned in StarCraft 2 would also make an appearance as separate character DLC to really hammer home the point that Nintendo does not want Waluigi in Smash Bros is are willing to add literally every other video game character in existence before it happens.
Announced alongside the new fighters was a special game mode giving players the option of using every single character at once. As it was detailed during the Nintendo Direct, it is hoped that gamers will take the opportunity to “play as every character they can besides Waluigi. Get the real of experience of a world where that poor excuse for a video game character was never created.”
Like the previous entry in the series, all thirty five thousand characters will need to be unlocked by completing a 459-hour Subspace Emissary story mode.
“Sure, it’ll take a lot of time,” Sakurai says, “But it’ll be worth it to finally unlock every character in existence except Waluigi. Imagine how satisfying it will be to fight against Peach as HK-47 from Knights of the Old Republic or Cortez from TimeSplitters all the while pretending that purple lanky-ass dickhead doesn’t exist.”
At press time it was revealed that every single Marine ever spawned in StarCraft 2 would also make an appearance as separate character DLC to really hammer home the point that Nintendo does not want Waluigi in Smash Bros is are willing to add literally every other video game character in existence before it happens.
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