Mario Kart 8 Lobby Chat Options Will Soon Include Curated Twitch.tv Comments

As part of their initiative to further embrace competitive gaming using their licensed properties Nintendo has announced that Mario Kart 8 will be receiving expanded chat options in pre-race lobbies. Up to this point chats have been limited to family-friendly phrases such as “That was close!” and “Not fair!” to give players a quick opportunity to express their feelings of the last race and politely smack talk their opponents in a way that would not offend the eyes of any children playing the popular game. With this new update Nintendo claims you will be able to get across a multitude of new feelings such as the homosexual levels of your competitors as well as the implied whorish activities of their mothers.

The new list of options has supposedly been curated from millions of lines of Twitch.tv chat logs to get the most accurate picture of how gamers speak to each other from what Nintendo believes is the definitive form of communication around video games.

“We’ve been monitoring chats on Twitch.tv during big Smash Bros. tournaments as well as every day streams of some of our biggest Mario Kart 8 streamers,” Nintendo of America President Reggie Phils-Aime told IGN, “And we believe we have selected the most popular phrases to include in Mario Kart 8. The last thing we want to do is limit anyone’s creativity or freedom of speech. Nothing like a good friendly ‘fuck your cocksucking garbage ass-eating mouth’ to rouse up your opponents before a race.”

Phils-Aime also went on to say that one other driving factor of the new chat options was the number of people spamming the popular pre-made chat option “I”m using tilt controls!” As the frustrated President told us, “We know you’re lying. No one uses tilt controls. Stop it. Just stop it.”

While the exact list of new phrases has not yet been released by Nintendo, an elaborate document showing them was recently leaked and confirmed by a several anonymous source inside the company. Below is just part of the suspected list of new phrases that player will be able to choose before a race in Mario Kart 8, as selected by being the most popular phrases in Twitch.tv chatrooms.

- up
- left
- ヽ༼ຈلຈ༽ﾉ
- cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts
- Down
- fuck you
- FrankerZ
- this is teh urn
- a
- faggots
- right
- [picture of a dog]
- learn to back hop you fucking pleb
- anarchy
- I would go ass to mouth with Sakurai