New PlayStation 4 SHARE Feature Replaces Your Shitty Screenshots With Ones That Don't Suck

In a recent blog post Sony announced that they are implementing several new updates to the SHARE feature of the PlayStation 4, the most important of them being that the service will now take your shitty and poorly framed screenshots and replace them with fantastic action shots by professional photographers. Up until this point, gamers turned sub-par photographers were taking shots of things things like walking down the street in Infamous: Second Son or any number of stupid environmental pieces in Knack. Each of these horribly amateurish shots hurt the PlayStation brand, says Sony President Kazuo Hirai. 

“Please. Just stop,” a desperate CEO pleaded during a Q&A with fans via Google Hangouts, “No one wants to see your stupid cluttered shot of your Battlefield 4 kill. You can use a grenade. We get it.” With the updated SHARE software, PlayStation users will no longer be able to plague the internet with their awful photography skills. Instead, every time a screenshot is taken, the user’s photograph will be immediately discarded and replaced with a perfect shot from a similar situation in their game.

“The software is actually quite amazing,” one Sony engineer told us, “it can tell if you’re taking some shitty Ground Zeroes shot with only half of Snake in the frame and replace it with a shot of him taking down an enemy in the coolest way possible.” The new screenshots, taken from a random selection of photographs by various professionals, will be aimed to highlight the PlayStation 4’s graphical power and innovative game scenarios instead of the player’s poor sense of photographic lighting and timing. 

Sony will also not be trusting the player to choose who the photos will be shared with. 

“Letting gamers choose who they shared their own shitty screenshots with was fine,” Kazuo Hirai said during his Q&A, “but now that we’re dealing with quality shots we want to ensure you’re not wasting our time by sharing it only with your apathetic relatives on Facebook. We want everyone to see these.” Hirai went on to explain that, while Sony values your input, the system will completely ignore it and share your photos to every single social media account you have linked to the PlayStation Network guaranteeing that all of your friends will see the cool screenshots you pretended to take.