Game Designer Legally Disowned By Parents Following Low Metacritic Score

Following an abysmal Metacritic score of 43 on his newly released project, video game designer Michael Trippit has been formally disowned by his parents. The twenty-two year old with the simple dream of making his own video game and having loving parents had it all come crashing down when his pathetic score was finalized.


The game Michael wasted four years creating was a minimalism retro space platformer funded by Kickstarter that revolved around time travel and shifting dimensional planes to reach new heights in each new level. Trippit knew he was in trouble when Steam reviews immediately began pouring in claiming his game was a ripoff of other popular independent titles such as Braid and Fez with some even calling for him to quit the video game design scene much like Fez’s creator, Phil Fish.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Trippit said in an interview following the court proceedings where his parents cut ties with their otherwise well-meaning son, “I mean, I worked hard on it and even got an 9.2 from IGN, but somehow still didn’t make it.” He also pointed out that, while the overall review scores may have been that pathetic 43, the average user review scores managed to reach to 60 after rallying his family friends to vote the score up, as most low scoring games usually do. A number that Trippit’s parents say does not influence how they feel about the game or their son, telling us “It’s Metascore or bust, everyone knows that.”

Support for Trippit has been slim to none, with only a select view agreeing that parents judging the love of their child based on Metacritic is a bit over the edge. “If we can’t trust the Metascore numbers what can we trust?”, one IGN forum user asked, “No one, that’s who. These numbers are infallible and if you’re arguing against that you too deserve to be disowned by your parents.” Even presiding judge Nancy Black agreed with the majority sentiment, leading to a trial that ended much sooner than expected with a quick ruling in favor of the parents.

“I have looked over the evidence and it’s clear this game is just awful. A 43? You know what else got a 40? Ninja Gaiden Z. Ninja Gaiden fucking Z,” a visibly angered judge Black said to Mr. Trippit during his deposition, “While I can’t legally tell your parents to no longer love you, I can strongly suggest they do so as well stop you from receiving any and all legal or monetary benefits from them.” The parent’s request to have every copy of the video game deleted and otherwise destroyed was ultimately thrown out however, as it was determined to be impossible and the damage had already been done to the family and their once flawless reputation. When asked what it would have taken to keep their son legally as part of their family, Mr. and Mrs. Trippit told us simply, “At least a 65. We didn’t raise a failure.”

At the time of publication, the elderly couple are reportedly doing their best to move on from their disgraced former son and are alleged to be working on a new child, which they hope will carry their name on with the honor where Michael failed.