Grizzled Veteran of World War II Games Loudly Remembers The Good Old Days

A 27-year-old grizzled veteran of the many WWII games that once dotted the video game landscape remembers the good old days before modern pleasures and stupid kids took over. Ian Hunt, recalling the classics of his teenage years such as Medal of Honor and Call of Duty before the Modern Warfare series, claims that he was part of a better generation when games took skill and precision and not just skill and precision to get perks.


“You assholes have it easy,” Hunt yelled at a disinterested group of his pre-teen cousins at a family gathering, “All you have to do is win hundreds of games and level your little skill tree. Well back in my day, we only had Call of Duty 2. We didn’t have no fancy skill trees or weapon loadouts. We selected a bland generic class and liked it, god damnit.”

Hunt also remembers a time when they shot actual Nazis and not just that “Nazi zombie pansy bullshit” as he put it. Back in his day, several Nazi encampments stood between him and the four other men in his army in from taking Normandy in Medal of Honor. While games were limited and could only render a handful of soldiers on screen at once, Hunt boisterously proclaimed to his confused aunt and uncle “that’s just “how [we] liked it, god damnit.” 

"I lost a lot of good men in those Nazi filled trenches," Hunt recalled, "HughGWrect69, Bigboopin69, xXxSnipedem69xXx, the list goes on. Kids these days don't know real loss. They spawn in five seconds and they're good to go. Back in my day we had to wait until the match was over and in the meantime we had to watch our friends get gunned down like dogs."

While the longtime veteran of games set in World War II does not claim he’s necessarily better than gamers of today, he does admit he could easily beat them all if their new fangled games did not have so many buttons.

“Really, why do these kids need all these buttons,” he told us while defending his assertion that he is the best FPS player of all time, “all I need is move, shoot and reload. Kids these days have stupid stuff like jump, strafe, quick scope, diddly doop or whatever. I can’t keep track.” He also went on to explain that games these days don’t take any skill whatsoever. Today gamers simply win thousands of battles, upgrade a complicated skill tree, carefully create effective weapons loadout and then shoot each other, where back in Mr. Hunt’s time he had to aim and shoot “like a god damn man.”

To date, Hunt has only played one first person shooter not set in WWII but claims he does not have to play more to understand them. Remarking how he’s watched countless videos of “these noob losers” playing Battlefield 4 and enjoying it with their friends, he has a complete grasp on how these nerds manage to play such plebeian games.

Amidst the ramblings of his generations greatness, Hunt also reminisced about a time when gas was only $3.40 a gallon, MTV only played The Real World and there was actual music like The Foo Fighters not “whatever crap they have now.”