Prominent Blogger Already Has A 500 Worder Penned To Describe How Tired He Is After E3

Prominent video game blogger and frequent contributor to the popular technology site The Derge Doug Guzman has pre-written a 500-word post on just how darn tired he is after E3. While he normally waits until after conventions to endlessly whine in his articles about how worn out he is from walking for a day, Guzman claims that writing the post ahead of time will free up valuable space to complain on other mediums such as podcasts and in-person interviews.

“I’m looking forward to E3 and all the work I’ll get as a result,” The Derge lead video game blogger told us, “There is going to be a ton of exciting news about the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Wii U and people are also very excited to hear how tired I am and how much my feet hurt.” Guzman plans to be on his feet for nearly nine hours a day during the three-day convention, giving him plenty of material to work into his otherwise brilliant coverage of the video game convention.

Aside from his already written bitching-filled article, Guzman also has plans for a post full of memes and gifs describing how tired he is. “Not only do I want people to know that I actually had to leave my house for three days straight, but I want to them to feel entertained.” He also promises that there will be some video game coverage interlaced with how sleepy the cushioned plane that transported across the country made him. “Honestly, I just want people to know how hard we work. And how else would they if I didn’t constantly tell them?”

Like many others who cover such conventions, Guzman will also squeeze a few complaints about his flight and traffic into his unboxing video when he arrives in Los Angeles. “When I make a video showing people my equipment - laptop, phone, tablet, camera, several bags and water bottles - I also want them to know difficult it is to pretend I actually need to use all this shit,” he told us, “It really is exhausting to keep pretending I use all of it so The Derge will pay for it.”

As for video game coverage itself, Guzman assured us that “I’m sure Sony will do something, I don’t know. All I know is I have to walk around that convention center for a few hours and I’m going to be so worn out.” He also went on to tell us that he will actually need to travel across the whole building to reach the Xbox display - something he’s dreading immensely and has already worked into his 500-word bitchfest. “I just know my dogs are going to be barking so the first half is dedicated to that walk. I will probably even have to interact with people on the way. Exhausting shit, man.”

If you wish to get live alerts from Guzman and the other Derge contributors, be sure to follow them on twitter to get up to date insights on how tiring journalism is. Or be sure to catch a few half-asleep E3 recap articles on thederge.com in the days following and hear just how bad each blogger needs their coffee.